Venus In Furs: A Little History In Two Parts, pt. 2
The compulsion to escape freedom turns us against ourselves. Some theorists believe this idea resurfaced very pervasively in the 1990s, with the new emphasis upon capitalism and corporate-driven greed and consumerism. The commodification of everything, including the body and leisure pursuits, led many to find plain old sex boring and led many “mainstream” people to explore sado-masochistic practices.
I remember a cover of New York magazine with a woman dressed in leather bondage gear, with the headline: “In the 1970s we had Free Sex; in the 1980s it was Safe Sex; Now We have Mean Sex.” This was evidence that S/M had reached the mainstream culture, and alongside the very repressive attitudes about sexual activity expressed by the growing religious right wing, we now have a culture that is simultaneously as experimental and expressive sexually as it has ever been, but also as repressed and sexually-conservative as it has ever been.
Perhaps because of its European origins, sado-masochism has been most prevalent in practice in Europe and particularly in Germany. Laws which are associated with sex and morality in some European countries are comparatively lax when measured against the puritanical attitudes of the United States, and many groups, clubs and events for those interested in sado-masochism have existed there for decades. Amsterdam in the Netherlands is also famous for its sex clubs and open-minded attitudes.
It was in the 1980’s that another term was created that is associated with S/M (another way of referring to sado-masochism, which most people say aloud as “S and M” but spell it S/M) is BDSM, or bondage, domination, sadism and masochism. Bondage refers to the use of restraints, handcuffs, ropes, suits and masks to restrict movement, which some find sexually exciting. Some of these practices came to the USA from sex clubs in Europe and became particularly popular in some of the gay bars in New York City and San Francisco in the 1960s and 70s. The subculture of both male and female homosexual communities that practice BDSM are usually referred to as “leather” as in “leather dykes” or “leather boys.” Bondage “gear” can be custom made to fit one’s own body and head and many like to have this clothing and equipment custom made for them out of fine leather; many leather crafters specialize in creating this type of clothing which can be very expensive. In the 60s and 70s the only place to find like-minded bondage aficionados was at clubs or bars, or in ads placed in magazines. But these days the internet has made it very easy for people to find each other, and of course has made it necessary for people to be cautious with anonymous interactions before meeting people in person.
Domination refers to dominance/submission: some people like to be dominant in sex, and some like to be submissive. Sometimes these relationships involve forms of humiliation, as when a dominatrix (professional female dominator) orders a man to dress in baby clothes or behave like a dog. There are also male “doms” who like having female “subs” or submissives. Sometimes BDSM play involves pain or varying levels of discomfort. Leather flails or paddles can be used for spanking, or some like hot wax dripped on the skin. People who take part in this sort of sex play tend to follow very specific rules created by practitioners over the years. Most practitioners suggest choosing a “safe word” (a non-sexual word not normally used in sex play, like “strawberry” or “newspaper”) to be used when play gets too intense and one participant wants to pause and shift things to a more comfortable level.
It is recommended that people interested in this kind of play explore the literature available so they can do so safely and in ways familiar to the people in this community (and a very large community it is!)
These days, even while it is very easy to find other people who practice BDSM, some only express themselves in this lifestyle online; such people might be called “cyber-doms” “cyber-subs.” People who have been involved in BDSM for a longer time (before the internet) tend to think it is not as authentic or “pure” as being in a BDSM persona or lifestyle 24 hours a day, seven days a week. But because these practices now attract so many people and BDSM is such a huge industry, most enthusiasts think freedom of choice (and of course, personal responsibility) is what should govern their involvement with it.
For a very thorough historic timeline of important events in the history of sadmasochism, go to: http://www.datenschlag.org/english/dachs/dachsfaq.html Many of the more contemporary events are related to German culture but they still offer a fascinating and thorough glimpse into this lifestyle.
