Kris has been exploring her sexuality for a few years now, starting with a little showing off in front of men, to being the mistress of a growing website dealing with her public exhibitionism, and now exploring the world of BDSM. What do these venues have in common? “It gives me a feeling of power over men that I’ve never felt before. I was raised in a traditional Asian family. I was taught that men had all the power, and we were like second class citizens.”
From a feature in Cosmo Magazine about Kris…
“I came from a really repressive religious home in which sex was equated with sin. Even though I always secretly enjoyed appreciative looks from men, I would never, ever go out of my way to get them.”
“My website has really helped me come to terms with and express my own sexuality. And that has spiced up things in the bedroom. Thanks to The Shy Exhibitionist, I’m more comfortable with my body and more in touch with the sexual side of myself.”
And from there…
“My photographer has been getting interested in Japanese bondage. He liked the dramatic effect the photographs had, and wanted to try to capture this himself. I was only too happy to be his subject, for a while anyway.”
“Being tied up can be fun, but I think I enjoy giving more than receiving. I’m having fun exploring this side of things. Having a man squirm under the heel of my boot does something for me. Exploration of this kind sure can be fun.”
And, from a feature in Wired Magazine:
WHEN KRIS, A thirtysomething office manager at a technology start-up, first posted nude pictures of herself on the Web, she was tentative, wearing sunglasses so as not to be recognized. Less than a year later, “The Shy Exhibitionist” has launched a “club” of interested members who pay US$9.95 per monthly issue of photographs and stories chronicling her public exposure. “It was out of curiosity that I got started. I liked the looks I got at restaurants when I’d show a little more than people are used to seeing. But when I saw what other people were doing [on the Web], I thought I’d try it,” Kris says.
Her first few postings on Usenet generated so much reaction that The Shy Exhibitionist decided to post more. After the group deteriorated to little more than ads for pornographic sites, she decided to put up her own Web site. Then the traffic got so heavy that her ISP was going to hit her with a big bill. Instead of taking her site down, she decided to start a fan club that would let people access her Web site for a fee, while also involving them a little more in the activity. She even has plans to announce live appearances to club members.
“Without the Web, I don’t think I would have known about my interest in exhibitionism,” Kris says. “It didn’t happen all of a sudden,” but rather slowly over a period in which she tried a little, and then, encouraged by the response, tried a little more. The Web’s ability to offer control over the degree of anonymity let her move at her own pace. “At first I chose the Net because you know people are looking at you, but you can’t see them. Now, when I go on photoshoots, I actually enjoy some brief moments of eye contact.”
Chris Miller, who runs Bianca’s Smut Shack, a Web site that encourages sexual exploration and discussion, agrees that the Web encourages the dropping of boundaries. “There are two factors: anonymity and disinhibition. Putting a computer between us allows us to be more loving and more hateful. We can make friends and lovers more easily, ask good questions, and get honest answers. But it’s also easier to be flamed or be negative. A lot depends on the online environment.”
